I went to a women’s gathering earlier this month, in the middle of the rainforest (so lush, one of my favourite places to be, equal to the ocean), guided by an elder from Columbia, Carmen Vincente, she could have passed for a woman in her late 40s, is maybe in her mid sixties, yet told us she is 102, apparently in her culture once a woman reaches 60, she tells everyone she is 100 so they simply leave her alone, no more questions needed.
Not sure what to expect of the gathering, only knowing that my Soul was inspired to connect, sit with and show up for/with other women in the local area after enjoying a powerful transformative winter where a lot of my inner work dealt with my own understanding of being a woman, of how I want to be loved as a woman, uncovering Soul Truths (not conditioned ‘truths’) of my sexuality, gaining clarity on the idea of motherhood (if it is for me/my Truth/or simply conditioned in me etc.) I reached moments of further drawing lines through what I will not tolerate from others, getting clear on what actions from others show I am not being appreciated, and therefore deciding not to further connect with them, unexpectedly they were only my surface layers, which then went deeper into how I feel about being a woman, and how I treat myself with my own thoughts and emotions, how I acknowledged and loved my own being/expression – everything in our physical reality (our outer world) mirrors our own thoughts and emotions (our inner world), a lot of the time these are deeply rooted in our subconscious, conditioned into us from our childhood/upbringing/society, what I find a lot of us are doing in this moment of transition, is gaining clarity on why we are experiencing what we are experiencing, deciding if we do or do not like the experience/s and re-writing the programming in order to change what we do not like, into what we do like, ultimately changing our world. This is all part of A New Earth which we have successfully (and continuously) cycled into. Do not panic if you do not resonate with this, some of us are currently paving ground, doing the work which allows the planting of seeds for others to see what is possible and then do their own inner work in Divine Time for their path (when the time is right for you), women before me have done this, and ever since my Saturn Return I have had a strong pull towards doing this work too with a strong gravitation to sexuality and sacredness, it is a calling that cannot be ignored, at least not for long, some refer to it as an awakening, where our awareness deepens, consciousness expands, it alters how we experience life.
About fifty of us women arrived in the beautiful lush rainforest setting, some of us recognised one or two familiar faces, some recognised no one, and some appeared to know each other quite well. Regardless of being familiar or not, everyone seemed to recognise and honour each other, honouring the will it took to show up in that space on that day, recognising that we are all in one way or another contributing to change within our own worlds, and therefore this entire world, co-creating change, most of us feeling inspired by the power of Nature and recognising the power within ourselves. We patiently waited to be invited into the teepee where Carmen was preparing herself and the space for the gathering.
The message spread that we could now all join Carmen in the teepee, we walked up a beautiful rich green hill to a solo white teepee, the smell of wood burning was intoxicating along with the fresh rainforest air, the warmth of the fire was exciting and extremely inviting as large sprinkles of rain started to drop from the sky, all elements gathered to welcome us, to celebrate this union unfolding, no doubt one that would inspire profound change through the powerful ripple effect of women coming and sharing together.
We slowly assembled into the teepee, organising ourselves, our baskets and cushions, the energy felt a little apprehensive, there was a seriousness or at least a quietness about us all as we politely fit ourselves in ensuring comfort for ourselves, yet also enough room to all fit, some women had their daughters with them, a handful of toddlers were about as well as one or two young babies, there was a vast age of women present, it was so inspiring. I really appreciate that about this area, it is commonly accepted and encouraged for children, babies, and sometimes animals to join, we recognise all beings as energy, not just their physical manifestation, and therefore everyone is welcomed (and appreciated/loved). Once we were all seated, Carmen welcomed us, said a couple of things and asked us to relax our vaginas, gentle laughter outpoured, we all found the comment humorous, did the 102 year old woman really just tell us all to relax our vaginas? Of course she did! And what a woman to remind us all about how profoundly we are all connected, I remember having a fantastic honest laugh, a little shocked/caught off guard with the comment but so relieved by it, it synchronistically relaxed us all, our armour got dropped after that comment was made, the seriousness left the teepee, we were all there, present and real. My gosh, every single woman in that teepee had a vagina, some have had more experience than others, specifically the grandmothers and mums, which got honoured first in all ceremonial sharing, makes sense, they have lived more with their bodies and their response-abilities than those of us yet to bear children, something that is often forgotten in Western Culture. In Western Culture older women are often disregarded, as Western Culture places such high value on youthfulness. This is something being completely re-written in my own programming, I can see SO much beauty in older women, especially these brave grandmothers and mums who have no doubt experienced some form of Spiritual awakening through childbirth (whether they are conscious of the change/realisation or not), I see their life experience, their wisdom, their beauty aligned with the cycle of womanhood that they currently are in, I see their strength is adjusted to a changed body, having felt immense pain and bliss, beyond what I know, they know things I am yet to learn about my entire body, including my vagina! This is of course IF they have learnt to honour the cycle they are in, there is nothing more unattractive than any of us clinging on to a cycle of life that needs releasing, a woman of age trying to hold on to youth without honouring where she is at is missing all of the gifts she has to simultaneously embody AND share with others!
That request to relax our vaginas still rings so strong in my mind, I remember looking around in the tent and feeling SO connected to these women, for the first time EVER I realised that my own fears and desires felt through my vagina were not solitary. These women would be able to empathise with my fears, desires, past worries/physical manifestations etc. I felt so inspired by everything they must feel/fear/desire within their bodies and minds too. I saw so much beauty, adored how everyone presented and styled themselves on the day, again women of ALL ages, and MIND BLOWN that we are actually all SO connected, unique expressions yet so profoundly connected in our core!!
Since that day I have not been able to feel even a slither of jealousy for any other women, (and I’ll tell you now, I have had some really fantastic women cross paths with me, gifts for myself to really embody my learning). I now see WHOLE women, I see them with a vagina too, not just a Barbie doll, I see that they FEEL too, they feel both excitement and fear! No one is separate from these human/woman feelings, we are real, we have depth to all of us, we all have some sort of fear/s, and desires, and we are all here to experience life, most of us with our vaginas involved, not every single moment of course, but throughout our life, in different ways depending on the cycle we are in. These feelings in our vaginas are connected to both our heart and our mind, they are subtle or obvious, but the more aware we become of the subtle sensations, such as clenching in moments of uncertainty, the more we start to really feel the energy within our vaginas, the more we start to understand its language and its ability to both guide and protect us, while in turn we learn to release more fear and allow ourselves permission to be these Divine Earthly Women who have harmony within their entire bodies and energetic systems. My gosh, all of these women, myself included want to experience love, they want to feel beautiful, they want to create, they want to know, they want to be seen and heard, they care about their health, their balance, their harmony, just as they are able to listen and feel, we are all the same, unique strands, but at our core we are the same.
So to the women reading this, I tell you now, YOU ARE BEAUTY, YOU ARE POWERFUL, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE with your fears, desires, worries, your dreams may be unique, you are unique, but you are not ever on your own in this life experience, these challenges or gifts, so please relax your vagina, breathe, and live/enjoy life are fearlessly and fully as possible! We are one.