WHAT THE F*CK IS SELF-LOVE?!
Seriously, what is it? I’ve added that bittersweet extra four letter f word to authentically share how I have felt about this concept for a while now - any page/account/human continuously expressing ‘self-love’ this, ‘self-love’ that, all we need is to love ourselves, used to make me cringe, it all seemed so fluffy and fake, I could never see much depth, or willingness to see the grot, the demons, the shadows, the fierce ones, the ones who scream out loud, run with the wolves, hiss and feel good doing anything slightly vulgar! Self-love business/influence accounts have always seemed so superficial to me, grazing along the surface where everything is sunshine and happy, ignoring that pain and fears get felt, and telling us that all we need to do in order to experience all of our hearts’ desires, is to love ourselves, and the Universe or more specifically Law of Attraction will handle the rest. All we need to do to attract a lover into our life, is to love ourselves. Well, I tried that, IT DID NOT WORK, so WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS SELF-LOVE BULLSHIT?!
Furthermore I learnt to remind myself that I am good enough, I am worthiness, in moments of feeling fearful of not getting what I wanted, I told myself all of the ‘self-love’ mantras, and saw some improvement with manifesting desires, however something still felt like it was missing from my experience, keys were there but not quite the right fit, something was missing in terms of how I felt about myself, my life experiences, and also potential lovers. Then the other week, as it usually does in an unexpected moment, the clarity bomb hit!
Self-love can be superficial, that is the fluffy, fake aspect of the concept that I was feeling into, but there is a great depth to self-love which creates MAGIC in our world!! This depth of self-love is more aligned with self-acceptance, accepting ourselves as unique individuals, seeing all aspects of us, not needing to change, or be something/someone other than what/who feels right for us and this life experience that we are living. We can do this by feeling into what is authentic behaviour for us, and giving ourselves permission to embody more and more of that which is authentic to us (this will no doubt constantly evolve and change too).
By honouring the characteristics that align with our Soul (this can be done by feeling into it, it either feels good, feels natural, or it doesn’t, you will always know by how you feel), accepting our physical features as unique gifts, really learning to love the uniqueness that we each are. Once we gain awareness of this, and start to practice it, a MASSIVE weight gets lifted, naturally we become less attached to needing things/people in our life, we learn to be okay with who we are and what we feel, we don’t need a the latest pair of jeans in order to feel loveable, we can be okay with experiencing mis-takes every now and then, knowing and trusting that those who accept us for who we are will also recognise and forgive our mis-takes too, we do not need to fit into a box that is not the one that came with us at birth, the same one that constantly evolves and changes shape as we learn through our life experience, and say yes to expanding our consciousness.
This acceptance of unique self is the MAGIC that is missing from Western Culture, this is our freedom that a lot of us crave, this is our ticket to being the beauty-full gift aligned with Spirit. In Western Culture we get conditioned to want to look, act, think like others, we get taught to compare ourselves not embrace ourselves, we get taught that we need this or that, we should be more of this or that, but that is not where happiness, or the magic of manifesting our inner most desires are, where it all starts is through learning to see ourselves from a Higher Perspective, learning to see ourselves through Spirit, which essentially is us, our heart is aligned with Spirit, we are Spirit embodied! When we see ourselves through the eyes of Spirit we recognise the Divinity within all of aspects of ourselves, we recognise that our uniqueness is a gift, and does not need changing, only evolving. We are all intricately connected, all one with Spirit, but we branch off, we become unique strings, and these strings come in different shapes and sizes, different levels of sensitivities, different desires for growth direction, these strings are UNIQUE, beauty-full in every way when they learn to accept, be and express that uniqueness.
What also really benefits us is asking for clarity on our Soul Purpose, what has our Soul incarnated to experience and express in this life, and then allowing our lifestyles to align with those Soul Truths, this allows us to live a life that inspires and fulfils us, allows us to play a role that shares our unique gifts with others, which could be simply working in a grocery store, or being a loving mum, sometimes the most powerful gifts come through simplicity, our change of the world starts from within, moves to our intimate circles and ripples outwards, nothing is too weak to evoke change, the butterfly effect is real, every single thought and emotion has a ripple effect in this world, where we are all intricately connected. By starting with those gentle thoughts of self-acceptance, watch how powerful the momentum and direction and magic of your world becomes.
Our human bodies, we pre-choose the characteristics of them, if we question why we chose them we can start to see the beauty of them, they flourish in this presence and grace of acceptance. Furthermore when we learn to trust the innate intelligence of our bodies, they communicate in the most beautiful of language to us, when we detach our need to control them, or force change on them, we create room for them to breathe, to blossom, to evolve, and express themselves authentically. They can be a powerful tool of authentic communication when we accept them, acknowledge them - when we learn to work with the body, rather than against it. Our mind is our controller, our computer programmer, when we learn to navigate it by aligning with our Spirit (heart), we are able to see more clear, with eyes of Spirit, which allows us to see our unique beauty, to feel Truth, and be authentic versions of these unique expressions in this life, we accept ourselves, our path which includes our past, and life lightens up for us - we no longer need to change anything about us in order to be loved, we already are love, what we are here to do is to navigate and learn to fearlessly express the Spirit of our beings, while we simultaneously revel in physical sensations and allow our physical form and experiences to blossom in their own unique way/s, this is and are our gifts of experience which we both give and receive of and from! Woa, the world of miracles truly does open up when we finally accept ourselves for these unique expressions of being, all of our quirks are fantastic, there is nothing wrong with us, yet everything right with us, and man what that freedom feels like when we realise this depth of love for self (and life!), through acceptance of self.
I feel all of us walking the sacred life, the life of expanding consciousness, will reach a point, if not already reached, where we have or will scream (or speak?) the title of this post out loud, in frustration of not understanding this chapter of the art of living life. I know I have creamed this one out in frustration, especially last year when I reached a point on my journey where we I held a strong desire to partner up with a like-minded lover, someone who places the expansion of consciousness and aligning with their Soul’s callings over all else, even each other. With the clarity of this concept of self-love that finally drifted down from above, through my being, and back into the Earth, for all to share in its wisdom, the irony is my desire for a lover has dissipated, more specifically my need/wanting of a partner has dissipated, I guess the desire is still there on some level, I see myself teaming up with someone, however it has shifted away from my main focus, into my background, there is absolutely no urgency anymore, I feel such a deep level of trust that everything is working out for me so perfectly, through Divine Time, what a weight that has been lifted! This weight lifted has helped me acknowledge more of my Soul Truths, has helped me see more aspects of myself from a Higher Perspective, has essentially helped me embody more SELF LOVE, by accepting me for me, and embracing all aspects of my personality, as well as honouring what feels good to embody (essentially what my Soul aligns with, communicated and expressed through this physical form/human being). An example of this is knowing that I find strong women who fearlessly express their truths really appealing, I have caught myself trying to be less sensitive as a being and less sensitive to others, however it just does not feel natural or feel right for me, I am super sensitive, I am really gentle, I appreciate people being gentle with me, therefore this is an aspect of me in this life, this is a truth of mine, a characteristic, a value even, I am gentleness, and there is nothing wrong with that, and everything right about it - this does not mean that everyone has to be gentle, yet this is a quality that I offer, and a value that I feel comfortable with, SO by honouring this, I honour myself, essentially aligning with LOVE, my natural state, being an authentic version of myself, which all equates to my understanding of self-love / self-acceptance. In turn this does not mean that I cannot be fierce or powerful, I most certainly can, but my natural state is one of gentleness, when I am balanced, feeling safe my gentleness is abundant.
I feel so much clarity of my Soul Work and highest Soul Desires, which do not need a lover in this moment, a lover would potentially distract me, until I strengthen more of my daily practice and action more of this Soul Work I am understanding more of, and that is calling to be birthed every day piece by piece, with adjustments, fine tuning and no pressure of time, just discipline, gentleness, and so much god-damn love and gratitude! Actioning Soul Work fulfils me, lights me up and makes me shine, these feelings are what create discipline in me, remind me to show up. What I further realised is that my search for a lover that matches with my unique Soul Values/Path was my distraction from actioning more of my Soul Work, my way of avoiding the fear that naturally comes through showing up in the world, through creating what I know wants to be created, what Spirit is guiding me to create, because the result is unknown and the anxiety of influence is real - but with a bridge of more self-acceptance crossed, that anxiety has settled, and I can feel the trust in my knowing, and feel fearless in my creating and expressing, which is not for everyone, but is vital for my Path.
Following the collective theme for Divine Feminine energy during this Mercury Retrograde, until July 31st, we are being asked to show up on our path, to get clear as well as either action more of, or plan out what the actioning will be, of the Soul Work we are being guided to create, this is a time of change, these creative projects are creating collective shifts in our physical experiences, sending strength to all of those aligned with the Divine Feminine energy at the moment, stay strong and clear, and sending love and clarity to the Divine Masculine energy which is ferociously clearing outdated karmic patterns, and gaining more clarity on deeper layers of what love means and represents, aligning their Truths with that of Sacred Life, the Sacred Path.