Sex is continuously portrayed to us in Western Culture as a physical exchange only, we predominantly get shown imagery and the sharing of words related to physical aspects, there is limited reference to inner emotions, and nothing is shared, or inspired, of the energy (unseen, but felt) between people when they engage sexually with each other. Western pornography explores sex from a physical view point only, it shows us scenarios that teach us collectively what we should find sexually arousing, until we potentially question the authenticity of what we have been shown, and either contemplate or learn through experience, our own truths – truths for me that are so different to anything portrayed in Western porn culture. Western porn focuses so much attention on the physical, it shows how people they should look in order to arouse each other, through the set up of poses and scenarios, it shares how each person is experiencing their physical sensations without any reference to the emotions or energetic exchange. What we as an audience initially neglect to understand is that Western porn is a show, a show that intends to stimulate and arouse others sexually, however, it creates discord for the audience in their own lives, as they cannot know if all of the physical sensations portrayed in porn are authentic, or just a show, on top of that, they have no idea how the physical experience has effected the actor/actress emotionally or mentally. So when people mimic porn at home, they may well be disappointed, or worst, they may find it highly stimulating until they reach a level of energetic awareness that sex as a physical act only, leaves them with a feeling of something missing, potentially unfulfilled, as energetically the human heart and/or soul have not been filled up, due to a lack of awareness around these aspects/layers.
After long contemplation and observation in my own sex life, I have come to the conclusion that Western porn is inauthentic, simply a show, so disconnected from the beauty and the power that comes with empowered, open heart, authentic love making – sex honoured as sacred, sacred for its beauty, and its power beyond what most of us can comprehend, not necessarily sacred in terms of not sharing it with many – the amount of sharing and learning we do is an individual choice, however when we recognise the depth of power that merging as one, momentarily with another, has on our and their mind, body, heart and spirit, I have found for myself and those in my circle, we naturally consider more in depth who/when we engage sexually with. Not only do we consider more in depth who we share ourselves with, our innate tells us who we feel inspired to share ourselves with, and who we do not, we learn to be aware of our own sexual energy, how it activates and who it is activated with.
I intend to plant some seeds of both thought and awareness here, to get you to ask yourself how you feel after making love / having sex, do you feel fulfilled, joyful, more inspired along your own path? Or do you feel like you need to see your partner again as soon as possible in order to be happy? Do you fall asleep content, or do you stay up with a busy mind? Do you feel your partner sees the depths of you, or just your surface, have you asked your partner lately what about you inspires them, do they see you beyond just your physical? If they only see you for your physical presence, how does that make you feel? Do you feel safe, honoured, adored, and loved by the person you engage sexually with? All of these are important questions to ask ourselves, and do some digging about how the answers make us feel – if anything feels uncomfortable or unpleasant, call forth change – that change does not have to come through a new partner, it may simply be that you need to bring more awareness to your sexual exchange, potentially your sexuality on a whole, maybe raise your own self worth, or perhaps you need to take a step back and see if you offer what you deeply desire in the same space, for another being.
I invite you to contemplate your current sex life, how you feel, and how you make others feel, how much of yourself are you comfortable sharing, how open do you allow your heart to be, how authentic are you with others, how authentic are you with your own physical and emotional desires, do you understand your sexuality, do you know what activates your sexual energy, do you feel any fear, guilt, shame, or regret when or after expressing yourself sexually, and how much fear have you learnt to release in the eye of love and sex?